Monday, March 24, 2008

Typical S Family Vacation


This week you will, or rather SHOULD, find all five members of the S Family lounging, playing and relaxing. And really that was our plan and how we spent most of the day. We spent our day at the zoo, ran into our friend Candace and her kiddos and just had a GREAT day. I have lots of pictures from the zoo and from Easter to share but have not had a change to upload them just yet.

By the way, I have discovered the following life changing equation and plan to live the rest of my life according to its principle. Frankly I am pretty sure that both Einstein and Newton would be quite impressed had they lived to see this day.

Are you ready?

Nathan + Zoo = Catastrophe

Amazingly simple isn't it?

2004 (or maybe 2005, I don't remember)- Nathan falls head first into the sea lion exhibit.

2007 - Nathan proudly demonstrates his nerve by eating an innocent, live rolly polly that he catches at the zoo.

2008- Nathan dangles his imitation crock above the black bear exhibit and OF COURSE it falls in. A kind stranger offers to climb in and retrieve it. I thank him but state firmly that I do not want to end up on the news as part of the most recent zoo mauling story. Zoo employees are summoned and enter the exhibit to retrieve Nathan's shoe.

We are fairly certain that revocation of our membership and a poster warning all zoo patrons and employees that the child pictured above is not to be admitted loom in our near future.

But really, the zoo should just be happy that it was not on their watch that Nathan's next catastrophe occurred.

The S Family has not only a bad reputation at the zoo but also a reputation for spending some portion of every vacation in the emergency room.

2004, Christmas Vacation- Car accident. Honda Civic hit on front right by Dodge Ram running red light at around 45 miles per hour. S mother (aka: me) knocked unconscious, among other issues, and taken by ambulance to ER.

2005 Spring Break, San Diego- Isaac becomes ill about 2.8 seconds after our plane lands. ER trip and diagnosis: double ear infection. Isaac is less than thrilled for the rest of the trip.

2006 and 2007- Vacations cancelled due to child birth, open heart surgeries, etc.

2008 Spring Break- Despite numerous instructions, warnings, consequences, threats, beggings, pleadings, etc, Nathan rides his scooter down a neighbor's drive way WITHOUT his helmet. There are no witnesses to the actual incident, but Nathan is discovered unconscious on the sidewalk, face covered in blood.

His inability to answer simple questions such as, "What did we do today?" and "What is your name?" coupled with his frequent drifting into and out of consciousness during the hour following the accident result in a rapid trip to the nearest ER.

Upon arrival Nathan is virtually non-responsive, prompting expressions of alarm from the evaluating ER doctor. We carry Nathan through the halls while the words, "Pediatric team bravo assemble ER NOW!" blare repeatedly through the hospital PA system.

And let me tell you, it can be a very, VERY long time before I ever hear words like that referencing one of my children again. In fact, I could very happily live the rest of my life and not hear those words again.

To make an already long story as short as possible, Nathan's CT is clear and his nose, while covered in road rash, is not even broken. He has a wicked concussion, road rash all over his poor little face and we have directions to wake him every 4 hours, administer copious amounts of Ibuprofen and slather on Neosporin with abandon.

He looks JUST AWFUL, poor baby.

And thus begins a typical S Family vacation.

The week can only improve from this point on, right?


Mary said...

Ack! Poor baby! It's a good thing I heard this from Mom first, otherwise I would be on a plane to Denver right now and she would have no one to pick her up at the airport!

I am SO glad he's okay, I was worried! Is Isaac okay too? Do they need me to send presents? ;)

Davis Family said...

I would think it would be wise to discontinue the use of the word 'vacation.' Clearly your children have decided that word is a trigger to do something life-threatening.

Don't have 'vacations' anymore. Have 'breaks,' 'rests,' 'getaways.'

Just a suggestion

Teacher Mary said...

You sure have an exciting life--I don't think I would trade with you!Sorry! I am glad that everyone is OK. I hope you had a wonderful Easter!