Friday, July 13, 2007

Support the Arts

Self reflection is a lost art. The ability to think about and reflect on one's actions and when necessary make amends for those actions seems pretty low on many peoples' lists of priorities these days.

This is a rather unfortunate societal problem, in my opinion.

This particular dysfunction seems especially prominent in people in positions of authority. I am amazed by the number of educators and parents who honestly believe that they are actually always or must always figure out a way to be right about everything.

Why is it so difficult to say you were wrong? What does it cost to say to a person that you made a mistake and you are sorry? Do people who rationalize, justify and make excuses for their every action and sentence honestly feel good about themselves? Is such a self deceiving way of life fulfilling? Can they look themselves in the mirror every morning and feel good about the person looking back at them?

I am by no means a perfect person. Many a fault I have and I have no problem admitting that. I do, however, try to be self aware and reflect on what I say and do, in the hopes of not causing pain to the people that I care about.

Examples:

Liz, I am sorry I was so inattentive and distant on the phone the other day. My anxiety and fear does not make it ok for me to be rude and inconsiderate when you are talking excitedly about your new undertaking. A gracious friend who be happy for you regardless of their own situation.

Isaac, I am sorry that I did not purchase those roses you picked out for me in the grocery store the other day. You are such a sweet little boy and I know you were just trying to make me feel better about loosing my ring. I know that I cannot and should not buy every pretty thing that you pick out for me when we are shopping, but those flowers were very special, you put a lot of thought and energy into picking them out and you do not appreciate that there is money involved in actually bringing them home.

Isaac and Nathan, I am sorry I spoke harshly to you when I was talking to the pool manager about my lost ring. My stress and grief did not make it ok for me to be impatient and angry at you.

Esther, I am sorry I hopped into the front seat of the van, completely and totally forgetting how carsick you get when you have to ride in the back. I am especially sorry that it took me over 24 hours to figure out why you looked so distraught at the time.

People who are willing to admit when they are wrong and atone for the pain they may have caused are trustworthy and credible in my opinion. I am about ready to write the others off.

Hopefully without sounding preachy or annoying, please consider what I have written and think about whether or not you may have hurt someone and might want to make amends with that person. Words can hurt. They can hurt a lot. You may have unintentionally hit a very sensitive nerve or touched on a topic that a person has a lot of insecurities about. Or if you did mean the hurtful thing you said, maybe a rational discussion between the two of you will accomplish more than harsh words spoken in anger.

Personally, I plan to continue to believe that most people are kind and that they really do not intend to cause pain in those they love. I have been burned by this optimism before and I will likely be burned again, but I hope I will never get cynical enough to assume that most people are jerks who would just as soon step on your face if that made it easier for them to get to their desired destination. I came close to that level of cynicism this week and I needed to write this in an effort to organize and understand my thoughts. Sorry you had to come along for that ride. I hope you are not scared, confused or offended.

In Other News
*A new S Family poll is up! Now that we have all had the chance to view the summer sequels, which one did you like best?

*No word on my ring. We are casually shopping the replacement possibilities. I am still very sad about the loss but I am trying to appreciate the big picture. My darling Jesse went to the pool and posted signs offering a reward for the ring's return, but I am still not holding my breath. Any prayers for its safe return are much appreciated. I DO find ring of power jokes amusing, so feel free to go there if you like. :)

*I dropped the center piece of a rather heavy kitchen table on my foot. Very painful. OW.

*Still no clue about LC. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*We have new license plates. The last 3 letters are OVY. Jesse thinks that our license plates say ovary and he is mortified. I personally think they are quite appropriate for a mini van. I am pleased.

Happy weekend all!

2 comments:

James said...

I really like the sentiment in this - so I was trying to think of something in which -I- was wrong. I just couldn't think of anything ...
:)

James said...

Mary, I am sorry that you have to live with someone who is never wrong. It must be hard to live around constant perfection, and I should take that into account.