Thursday, April 26, 2007


It has recently come to my attention that there are those in the world who seem to think that my kids are spoiled.


Well, let's explore that shall we.

For the record, I really do not care one way or the other what the general populace thinks of my parenting skills. This particular issue I see as an attack on both my parenting skills AND my kids, therefore my need to address it.

I have a few trusted sources who I will ask when I have questions, and I frequently do. Jesse and I realize that we are not perfect parents and have a lot to learn.


I take serious issue with the word spoiled when used in reference to my children. Many of you know or will soon find out that Jesse and I are intensely defensive of our kids and will go to great lengths to protect them. Spoiled, by definition, implies that something is ruined, no good, worthless, essentially trash.

For the record, the next time someone stands in my home as an invited guest and utters this word in reference to my children, said person will quickly find themselves standing dazed and confused on the sidewalk outside my home.

To answer a few lingering questions:

Are my kids loved? Absolutely?
Do my kids get a lot of attention? Absolutely?
Do my kids have a lot of toys? Yes they do, more than they really need.
Are my kids home schooled? Yes they are.
Is Anna nursing beyond a year? Yes she is.

Do I feel the need to explain any of the above to anyone? No I do not. Frankly, these choices are nobody's business but Jesse's, mine and our children. If you feel the need to object or discuss, I am happy to have those conversations when approached in a respectful manner. We know that we are not perfect parents and that there is always something new that we can learn as we travel the perilous journey of child rearing.

For those of you who are still concerned, rest assured that a significant amount of daily time in the S house is devoted to discussions regarding manners, behavior and a general respect for our fellow mankind, even when mankind chooses to be disrespectful to us. Our kids do not get a new toy every time they go to the store, they do not get a sugary snack 12 times a day, they are not allowed to beat on each other, friends or strangers, they do not run wild, they have rules, they have discipline and as God is my witness I WILL teach Nathan to chew with his mouth closed if it is the very last thing I ever do!

In the future, let's all be sure not to use our own insecurities or envy as an excuse to attack another human being. Are my kids more privileged than some kids? Absolutely. Are there kids in the world who are more privileged than mine? Again, absolutely! Does that mean that I automatically label more privileged kids as spoiled? No, I do not. Does that mean that I expect perfection from a more privileged child? Absolutely NOT!

There you have it, my thoughts on this particular issue.

While all of the above is true, I ask you to also remember that first and foremost my kids are just that, KIDS! They WILL make mistakes, they WILL have trouble sharing, they WILL get into fights, they WILL say words that they are not supposed to, they WILL demand toys and snacks that they do not need and cannot have, for cryin out loud they are KIDS! Please do not demand perfection from my kids or yours. They will learn as they grow but they need room to make mistakes and a guide to help them learn from those mistakes.

We now return to your regularly scheduled joy and mirth of the S Family Chronicles.


Mary Beth said...

If those are the criteria by which we define a spoiled child, then Sam is far beyond spoiled, he's tyrannical.

Your kids are NOT spoiled--they're three of the sweetest people I know. If need be, I can bring up several instances when Isaac and Nathan willingly gave stuff up so Sam could play with it, even when they didn't want to.

Anonymous said...

Um...on the sidewalk outside your house bleeding because I will personally wail on them until they understand the error of their ways. You think you as parents are protective? I have red hair and a temper to match. Just point me at them!

And from a specialists point of and your kiddos are just fine.

Davis Family said...

are people insane?? They would utter such words about your children? They should be much more circumspect than that with their words--as your kids are delightful and very funny.

Spoiled...probably just as much as mine are.

Sheeesh....the stupid live among us.

Cherith said...

Thank you ladies all for your lovely compliments regarding my children. You make a parent feel so validated.

Mary, I have been meaning to talk to you about Sam. The other day he ordered me to go outside and toil in the mud and scorching sun, then turn over whatever profit I made. Just thought you would want to know.....

Erin said...

Gee...I wonder who the "anonymous" commenter was? Such a mystery! Your boys are awesome so I suggest to tell said insulter to mind their own f'ing business! Anywhoo, have a great birthday party today! And tell Nathan to pick-up as many worms as possible! They're good for him! :) You should go buy some nightcrawlers at Wal-Mart--he'll play with them for hours!!!

Have a good day!

Kiy said...

You don't know me (found you on RQ!), but I just wanted to say "You GO Girl!". I wanna be just like you when I grow up ... or better yet, when we bring our little darling home. You are awesome Mommy and don't let anyone tell you different.